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10 February, 2009

Who cares?

My sister's in Belfast at present, for Fellowship exams.  They're scheduled to run over a few days; K's dates were Sunday and today, but some of her colleagues finished yesterday and went out to celebrate last night, without having rung K. to wish her well, comment on the exams, etc.

When my mother told me, my response was incomprehension: "so what?". I wouldn't have expected any contact, and I don't think K. had either – until my mother distracted her at a vulnerable moment, instilling a sense of grievance that hadn't remotely existed.

Personally, and I think my sister agrees, I don't give a **** about people "doing the decent thing", or being "nice" to colleagues. I'm not 'nice', and the opinions & platitudes of near-strangers who happen to work in nearby institutions wouldn't interest me. Had I been sitting in a hotel room studying, I wouldn't have answered the phone if it had rung.

The only part of that situation that my mother can comprehend is 'sitting in a hotel room, alone in an unfamiliar city', and considers it "sad" and "terrible".
I really wish she'd kept her outdated, collectivist morality to herself, as this wasn't the time to have a discussion about relationships – or the total irrelevance of relationships – with mere acquaintances. Evidently this insight into a world-view I vehemently disdain irritated me, but more importantly it upset my sister when she particularly didn't need distraction.

[Heh. Just noticed the apparent contradiction in rejecting the myth of 'fellowship' whilst engaged in Fellowship exams.]

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