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14 February, 2007

Do you want spurious stats with that?

According to a press release from whichever organisation promotes National Chip Week (it's 12-18 February this year, as I'm sure you knew), "one in four of all British potatoes consumed in Britain are (sic) eaten as chips".

Who counted them all?

Who tracked every single specifically British potato (no grubby foreigners in this survey, thank you very much) that was consumed specifically in Britain, and ascertained how each was prepared?

That set me thinking of crack teams of Potato Inspectors, going door-to-door from Shetland to Cornwall, bursting in on terrified households to demand: "Is that potato British? What are you going to do with it? Eh? Eh? Step away from the chip pan!"
I can imagine the squads on cross-Channel ferries rushing about wildly, interrogating anyone suspected of chewing, then suddenly stopping for a cup of tea (each) as they'd crossed into French territory, where potato consumption goes unsurveyed.

I reckon there's at least a short story there. If anyone has a go, give me a credit, eh?

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