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17 April, 2006

Random queries no. 44

One of a series of genuine search engine enquiries which successfully brought visitors to the Ministry.  Can I help?

how to start a prison

The average household¹ owns at least one pair of handcuffs² for recreational purposes, so that's a start.

Apart from the obvious need for secure premises, one would have to conform to the standard health & safety legislation, then gain government accreditation, from the Home Office. In fact, I suspect one would have to obtain full-on Royal assent, maybe a warrant, as UK prisons are Crown establishments, each with the title 'HM Prison [name]'.

UK prisons aren't all state-run; some were privatised after 1991, so you do have a chance of starting a new one, but it's likely to be rather expensive, and not something I'd be inclined to try myself.

¹: What do you mean, 'no'? You must know the wrong people....
²: Nasty things – try leather instead. Seriously: there's nothing sexy about nerve damage.

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